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Family Checkup
Encouragement

This is Archived Content. This content is available for historical purposes only. It may not reflect the current state of science or language from the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA). Find current research and publications at nida.nih.gov.

Encouragement is Key to building confidence and a strong sense of self and helps parents promote cooperation and reduce conflict. Many successful people remember the encouragement of a parent, teacher, or other adult. Consistent encouragement helps youth feel good about themselves and gives confidence to:

Teacher and student talkingPhoto by @iStock.com/MonkeyBusinessImages
  • Try new activities.
  • Tackle different tasks.
  • Develop new friendships.
  • Explore their creativity.

Practices That Are Discouraging

  • Being sarcastic or negative about a child’s ability to be successful.
  • Comparing a child to siblings and friends.
  • Taking over when a child’s progress is slow.
  • Reminding a child of past failures.

Encouragement Promotes a Strong Sense of Self Because it Sends Three Main Messages to Your Child:

You Can Do It! Youth believe they can do things if parents:

  • Help them break a problem down into smaller parts.
  • Remind them of their strengths and past successes.
  • Encourage them by sharing how they have dealt with challenges.

Examples of Encouraging Phrases

  • "I know that wasn’t easy."
  • "You did such an awesome job!"
  • "Keep on trying."
  • "You are very good at that."
  • "You are learning a lot."
  • "I like the way you did that."
  • "I can tell you’ve been practicing."
  • "It’s great to see you working so hard!"
  • "I’m so proud of you."

You Have Good Ideas! Youth believe they have good ideas if parents:

  • Ask them to share their opinions and feelings.
  • Listen to what they have to say.
  • Ask them for input concerning family plans and events.
  • Ask them for ideas to solve family problems.

You Are Important! Youth know they are important if parents:

  • Remember what they have told you.
  • Make time for them each day.
  • Attend school and extracurricular activities.
  • Let them know that you are thinking about them when you can’t be with them.
  • Display things they have made and recognitions they receive.

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