Negotiating Solutions offers parents a way to work together to solve problems, make changes, promote and improve cooperation, and teach youth how to:
The Steps to Problem Solving:
Photo by @iStock.com/neicebird- Focus on solutions rather than problems.
- Think through possible outcomes of behavior.
- Develop communication skills.
Set Up For Success
When: Select an unemotional or regularly scheduled time (not in the middle of a problem).
Where: Choose a neutral place with few distractions.
How:
- Choose problems that are small and specific.
- State the problem neutrally.
- Recognize the other person’s positive behavior.
- Accept part of the responsibility for the problem.
- Restate what you hear, show understanding, and stop if you get too upset.
The Steps to Problem Solving:
Problem-Solving Traps
- Don’t try to solve hot issues.
- Don’t blame the other person or put the other person down.
- Don’t make assumptions about another person’s intentions.
- Don’t defend yourself—try to let it go.
- Don’t bring up the past—avoid using words such as “always” and “never.”
- Don’t lecture—a simple statement will get your point across better.
Brainstorm – Open your mind to all ideas:
- Try to come up with three ideas each.
- Any idea is good—even ones that seem silly.
- Take turns coming up with ideas.
Evaluate Your List of Ideas
- Go through and list the positives and negatives of each idea.
Choose a Solution
- Combine ideas if needed.
- All of you should agree on the chosen solution.
Follow Up
Check in with each other after you have tried your solution a couple of times to see how it is working. If it isn’t working, go back to your list of ideas. If necessary, start over with some more brainstorming.